He Quit to Make a Point. They Replaced Him in 5 Days

Season: 1

Episode: 2

Format: Solo, 7 min and 50 secs

Spotify: Listen on Spotify

Takeaway: The more you've built, the more a bad Tuesday can cost you. Sometimes the decision to leave may be right. But the timing should serve you, not your anger.

What this episode covers

The more you've built, the more a bad Tuesday can cost you.

Sometimes the move really is to leave. But there’s a difference between making a strategic decision and making a decision in the heat of the moment.

A senior leader with decades in his field quit to make them feel it. Five days later, someone else was in his seat.

Noël unpacks what happened after: the regret, the interviews he couldn't explain, the people he lost, and the one question every leader should ask before making a move they can't take back.

Who this is for

For anyone thinking about leaving a position they’ve spent years building and wondering whether they’re leaving because it serves them or because they want someone else to feel the loss.

Want me in your corner? Start here.

Questions people ask

Should I quit my job when I'm angry?

Maybe. Some jobs need to be left. But don't let anger pick the date. Leave when the timing serves you, not when you want them to feel it.

What happens after you quit to make a point?

The company moves on fast. A senior leader with 40-plus years in had a replacement in five days. He got the consequences: no paycheck, a gap he couldn't explain, and regret.

What should I ask myself before I resign?

Am I leaving because this serves me, or because I want them to regret losing me?

Transcript

5 days later, they had another butt in seat.

The more you've built, the more a bad Tuesday can cost you.

So, this is Between Us. And today, we're going to talk about exactly why making a decision when you are angry is its own level of expensive.

There was this senior director, and he said, "You know what? I've had enough. I've had enough. I want to just get out. I don't want to do this anymore. The expectations continue to change. They don't value my 40-plus years of experience. I only have a few more years until I'm retirement-eligible anyway. Why am I dealing with this chaotic nonsense right now?"

That's what he said.

Because he brought so much value. Because he had so many skills. Because he'd solved so many problems. Because he'd saved them tens of millions of dollars.

So what did he do? He quit, right? He put in his resignation.

It was chaos because we didn't know who was signing what, what was still pending, what was about to expire, or what was still in the middle of negotiation. It was just freaking chaos.

But then, five days later, they had another butt in the seat.

So it was chaos for just five days.

He never got the call from his supervisor. He never got the call from general counsel. He never got the call from his peers. He never got a call from anybody to do a wellness check.

I did call because I honestly care. But he didn't get a call from anybody else.

And he even said it. He was like, "I was expecting a call from other people as well, but you are the only one who called me."

That is the part that people don't actually talk about enough: once that anger moment passes, there could potentially be a lot of regret.

He did call a few months later. He's like, "Do you know of any other opportunities that may be coming up? Because I'm not ready to be retired yet. I want to do more. I don't have enough yet, and I want to just keep doing what I was doing because I love what I was doing. I just didn't love it in that environment. So, do you know of any other opportunities?"

He realized that, in his own words, maybe he should have taken a vacation instead of just quitting. Or maybe he should have had an off-the-record conversation with me to help him navigate those situations before he walked out the door and walked out of his career.

They start moving on. But what about him?

He wasn't able to move on. He was still struggling months later.

He was close to retirement, but because he left, he didn't have the time he needed for retirement. There was no paycheck coming in. His whole lifestyle changed. He didn't think about any of that at the time.

He also didn't know how to explain it to others.

He called me again, and he's just like, "Well, what do I say?"

Because it was really hard for him to articulate the reason why he left. He'd been to X number of interviews and had gotten all the way to third-round interviews. Remember, this was a senior-level employee.

He didn't know how to explain exactly what happened without making himself look bad in some way.

The company got his resignation, but he got the consequences. He had to live with that decision.

And making a decision when you are angry and upset has its own level of consequences that happen afterward.

This is when anger starts to lie to you.

Anger has a way of making it look like there are only two choices.

Choice one is to stay and continue to be disrespected, unappreciated, and overwhelmed.

And choice two is, "I'm taking my power back today. Hey, I'm taking my power back right now, and I'm going to quit."

Either I stay and I suffer, or I leave and I'm free.

I'm just saying that there is a lot more to consider that you may not have considered because there are other options.

So, those aren't the only two choices. They're just the only two choices that anger lets you see.

Maybe you wait. Maybe you negotiate. Maybe you collect more information. Maybe you protect your leverage.

Maybe you, again, take a vacation, take a beat, take a break, have a moment, step away.

Maybe you leave tomorrow. Maybe you plan an exit for six months later.

When you do send the resignation, yeah, it may feel amazing. Yeah, "I stuck it to them." Yeah, "They're going to pay now."

And you may sleep better than you have in months.

But again, the pain stops, and your brain then says, "See? Right decision."

But relief does not answer what protects your leverage. Relief does not answer what's next. Relief does not answer, "How do I explain this to my next future employer?" Relief does not help you explain the gap in your résumé.

Relief is just temporary because sometimes quitting feels like winning because the pain has stopped.

But just because the pain has stopped does not actually mean that you won.

And the more you've built in your career, the more expensive that difference gets.

The more you build, the more you have to lose. And this gets more complicated the further you move up in your career.

Because again, the higher you get, the more expensive it is to make a bad decision in the wrong sequence.

So, before you hit send, there's one question I want you to ask yourself, right?

Am I leaving because this serves me, or am I leaving because I want them to regret losing me?

That's the question.

If you need leadership to panic, if you need your team to fall apart, then your decision depends on what they are doing. They have the power over your decision.

And I'm not telling you to stay. I'm not saying, "Suck it up, swallow it down. Your feelings don't matter."

I'm not saying that at all, because some jobs need to be left. Some bosses are not worth another month. Some situations are not going to just automatically get better on their own.

Sometimes, leave. Sometimes, you absolutely need to get the hell out of there.

I get it. I know it. I've experienced that myself.

So, the point is not to stay. The point is not to let the anger pick the date.

Don't let the anger pick the date for you.

Don't move from a position of anger because that's never going to serve you.

Because the cleanest exit is not always the fastest way out.

The point is simply not to make a decision from a place of anger, but from a place of clarity and a clear mind, so that you are moving from a position of power.

You are moving toward something, not running away from something else.

And maybe you still walk away.

I'm not telling you not to quit. I'm telling you not to make your resignation somebody else's punishment.

Don't do it because you want to hurt the company. Don't do it because you want to get back at your boss.

They will move on. The company always moves on. The company always finds somebody else.

Make sure that when you leave, you are leaving because it actually serves you.

Make sure you're leaving because you are choosing the timing, not because anger is choosing the timing for you.

And that's the difference between making an exit and making a point.

I'm Noël, and this is Between Us.